Monday, December 19, 2011

only girl

she's wearing a polka-dotted swimsuit
plastic pants
pink tights
a purple shirt
and a Santa Claus hat

she goes from laughing hysterically
to sobbing in the corner, humiliated
over something none of us remember

and though we try to hide it
the world revolves around her
lash-fringed eyes and pouty pink lips

oh baby, how did you get to be the queen? 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

adopting 2

also written 5/26/10, waiting for our first adoption match

You’re moving
From a dream in my heart
To a person in my hands

From an idea
To a baby
Arms and legs and twinkling eyes

I’m starting to believe
I will love you
Even more than the hope of you

And as I lift you
From your basket
We become a family

adopting 1

written 5/26/10, waiting for our first adoption match

You are safe, nestled in your mother’s womb
She will give you life
Because of love

You are a survivor
Your generation is decimated
An empty crib, an empty crib, and then you

As she lets you go
You’re falling, falling
Into the hands
Of family

You will stand
A sign in your generation
A voice for life and love

Saturday, July 30, 2011


You think
We can give you our hearts, our spleens, our blood
And somehow it won’t affect us
So you’re fine
And we’re bleeding out

And we can’t stop loving you
We try and we try
And you’re running and falling
Every day could be your last
We’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling
Unable to sleep, wondering where you are
Hearts shattering a million times
While you smoke the rent and laugh and laugh

And you never see, you never see, you never see
The fallout
The tears that keep your boat from sinking
Are not the ones you cried

And when you’re through
And you’re cold and hungry and tired
You want a safe place to rest your head
But our shoulders are tired
From carrying the weight of your sin
Your life, your death and your pride

Sunday, June 26, 2011

"People say he has my ears," I tell you,
and we all laugh
because he has your ears
and your eyes and your blood

the cord that holds us together
is him 
and whether he knows or not, yet
his family is deep and wide and beautiful

for a moment 
I am looking in two sets of crystal blue eyes
two dimpled chins
the same rosebud mouth I see every day, today I see on you
because he is part of you

he holds my hand
he holds all our hearts
we will always be connected

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

evan, rees, seven

i remember being seven
in heaven, is it a little the same?

I'm okay, you know
not whole, because part of me is you
but okay

somedays, though, it is agony
to know just a veil separates us
brothers, blonde and strong, tumbling
just on the other side of the screen
between me and you

when I close my eyes 
I can see you, almost
my sons, my babies, my boys
flesh of my flesh, spirit

I love you

Monday, April 4, 2011


They want to know
And you want them to understand
But they can’t, not really
And you find yourself, time and time again
In the center, explaining while they cry

And you’re mad
Because it didn’t have to be this way
And it’s worth it, every minute
But it didn’t HAVE to be this way

Your heart, your eyes, your arms ache
He is rich, and alive, and so much more
And you want them to understand
But they can’t, not really
They stand on the outside, pity and admiration and fear

And you’re lonely, I know
I wish I could help
But I’m here too

I want to say
That hope doesn’t die
And love makes it worth it
And you will live through this, and grow
That every crisis will make you love him more
That there will be easy days, full of laughter
And that I understand, even if I can’t think of anything to say