Sleepwalking

Waiting for Toby, 3 days before he was born

I am sleepwalking
I'm hoping that maybe
if I tiptoe softly enough
then you will come
And not just be another
sweet dream faded too soon

Maybe if I don't wake up
You will come
and be the substance
of this hope

Maybe if I don't want you too much... maybe if I close my eyes... maybe
if I sleep
Then you can come and fill my arms
and I can be at peace

ode to ctk

Today I will go to Christ the King

and sit in a hard plastic chair

I will lift my voice and sing

And admire Lindsey's hair


You may ask, would it say

My bum, if it could speak

NO! Not the hardened chairs of gray

For they will bruise the cheek!


It's true enough, I can't deny

The seats are awfully hard

So I will answer in reply

A pillow I'll bring my bum to guard


the end

trash can

at a youth camp in Va Beach

tonight I played my keyboard
on top of a trash can
there’s something there
maybe I don’t want to know

I ate lukewarm pizza
out of a cardboard box
listened to Randy Travis
thought about myself

then the kids came
pimply laughing afraid small
trying so hard to look whole
and I remembered
why I do this

rest

tonight
it’s quiet
for a moment
and I wonder
if maybe I’ll be ok.

if maybe the madness is past
or it never happened
and really I can handle this

last night
it stormed
and I cried
and I asked
will it ever change

will I ever be free
will I ever have joy
will I ever know what it is
I need but can’t seem to find

I don’t know
but for tonight
I can rest

Flashlight

After Evan and Rees died

in the middle of the lilies
there’s a broken body
and I realize
all is not well

I try to skip but the pavement
was destroyed in the explosion

and all the Barbies melted

I know that there is a whole place
just over there
And over there, there’s something right
But I seem stuck
all these babies are holding my feet down

where’s my flashlight?
I had it minutes ago.
I could see way down the path
I could see all the flowers
all the children
no one was sick
no one was dying

Was it a dream?
That place I lived for so long
has fragmented into a very claustrophobic cavern
I’m stuck in the universe
and nothing is quite as I thought